I had a great weekend in Cardiff with Nathan as always and we had his bestie mates around for round II of Christmas and New Years. I just didn’t give this thing of mine a thought the entire time and we really had such a wonderful time. A great time was had by all, CJ, Sarah-Jane & Noah, James (especially) and Louise and Amelie. I played sous-chef in the kitchen and I must say we work really well together. We do really make a good pair in so many ways. It just feels so natural and I really got lucky meeting Nathan Benjamin Pithers.

The rest of the weekend was really chilled and we finally got to the gym on Sunday which is really what I need right now. I need to keep feeling fit and healthy. I feel normal when I lift haha! Ended up on the sofa watching some DVDs and giving my boy a foot rub (which he has become rather partial to). What is it with my fascination with his feet 🙂 Cuddled up and it was bliss, nothing compares to that. Every moment counts, and we take for granted the small things such as intimacy and affection.

Took me over 3 hours to get from Cardiff to work on Monday morning Argh!  This was my first week back in the office as I was up on Stansted last week with our big warehouse move. It was good to get back to my desk in a strange way. I had loads to catch up on and what seemed like a mountain actually was quite routine to get through. I decided to update my boss Russ on my pending treatment. He more than anyone is familiar with lymphoma as his mum died from having it, it was discovered too late. Had a good catch up with my lovelies in the office, Di and Di, Claire and Hayley. Had a catch up with the lovely Victoria and she has been going through a tough time work wise and love wise. I decided to share my story with her. Also got a call from Tarnia saying she had heard that something was up and I guess it’s getting out there now, not that it bothers me, just don’t want a pity party.

Makes me think I received such a lovely text from Lana last week saying she had come across my blog and what she wrote really got me emotional. People rock! It’s at times like this you really get to know someone and their opinion of you. I am grateful to know such exceptional people.

Yesterday was Nathan and I’s 1st anniversary (well when we started chatting – 10 Jan) I wanted to do a little something as we were not together and I arranged for 12 long stem roses to be delivered to him. It’s just something to say I love you when you can’t be together. He was so surprised and said they were lush. Bet he was the envy of everyone in the salon. They actually thought they were for another girl in the salon haha! Nathan suggested we have a date night on Face Time and so we did, and it always ends up being a few hours. Candles lit in our respective gaffs and we had dinner together. We even had an imaginary waiter called Julio lol. We sure can talk some shit. Planning our upcoming weekend in Cardiff and the next few here in Crawley.  Roll on Friday night!

Had a really shit sleep last night, fell asleep at 11pm and woke at 1230 and really struggled to get back to sleep. I guess my brain is working overtime these days. I am once again playing the waiting game. Got up at the usual 530 am and tired as I was dragged myself to BodyStep with my buddy Honor (who is getting married tomorrow btw!). It’s my favourite cardio class and it’s tough. I need to be tough right now. That is what I keep telling myself at least.

Started looking at this dreaded cancer thing on the internet and was reading about the treatments I am being asked to do. OMFG it’s actually hideous and all the risks and side effects are just too numerous to list here. I really don’t want to sound negative but honestly I am not sure right now. I had to stop reading at one point. I am praying that my second opinion doctor has a different way of thinking. Is this the only way to carry on living a normal life? Take someone to near death just to make them better. Germany is sounding more and more appealing to me, even though it costs a fortune. But then again what is a life worth?

Got a call from one of my girls Sharon and she said on of her ex partners had this type of cancer and had all the chemo and is now healthy and fit again, at least one good story with a happy ending!! I won’t even tell you what the prognosis is. 😦

Guys I really feel the love and appreciate everyone’s well wishes, thoughts and prayers. Keep those prayers coming and Elaine light as many candles as you can! I am touched by all of it and need to get through this cause there is really so much to live for right now. It’s not just about me anymore, there is Nathan too. Make every moment count, no matter how small. It’s all about living life now, who knows what the future holds for us. I have learned a lot about that in the past few months.

Hey one last thing have a read of a blog from Tink the Belle called ‘Playing By My Own Rules’ on here. It’s great to share stories. You can follow these blogs or sign up for email updates so you get the latest.

***update next docs appointment is now Wednesday 18th most probably for the bone marrow test! ***