Well, I’m well into week 2 of radiotherapy and getting used to the daily commute into London for what lasts for a few minutes. The team are awesome, to say the least, good sense of humour and always ready to answer my many questions (Nathan’s too lol). You really want to know what they are doing to you with all this radiation malarky. What I do notice, I am more tired than normal and starting to get a dry mouth and throat. All part of the side effects it seems. They say the end of the 2nd week I will start to notice it more. No change in voice yet, watch this space. I’m trying to normalise it all.

A typical session consists of me arriving early and going in early which is great. Normally always the same team members but some new faces on some days. Onto the table I go and you have to be placed in exactly the same position each time, which can take some manoeuvring. Then the bloody mask comes out and you are literally pinned in place within an inch of your life lol. You can’t move if you tried. Not a great feeling that much I can say. Have I mentioned before that it’s totally claustrophobic! But you have to go away to that nice place in your mind. Then they leave you of course, way too dangerous to be in the room with you 😉 The alarm sounds as they close the door which I can only describe like a door to a vault in a bank, made of lead. Yikes!

Then the machine does its thing and it arcs around you when delivering its ray of light and there is an entry point as well an exit point. So I guess it goes along the lines of what goes in must come out. I am starting to know what’s going on and when it is doing it’s thing, not that I can see a lot through the mask. You don’t even feel a thing. When it’s done you have never seen anyone so happy to hear them coming back into the room announcing it’s over and stripping off the mask at warp speed. I think it takes like 5-7 minutes, which seems longer when you are in position.

Had my review with Erin the lead radiologist, and then with my doc, Professor Mikhaeel on Tuesday and all going well according to them, surprised I am not feeling more worse for wear. I will always give credit where credit is due, and this team is really something special. Big conversations about me, my fiancé and of course Bentley! They want to see pictures and I am more than happy to oblige. They were all excited about Bentley’s birthday celebrations.

8 sessions down and 9 to go, so the end is near and can’t fucking wait!

Last weekend was Bentley’s birthday, he was 4 and we decided to make a big deal of it. Bless him, he is so spoiled he had a special treat; beef tartare and paté and even doggy beer. We even decorated the terrace and let him sit at the table to have his dinner lol. There is something special that he brings into my life. Nathan and Bentley are my world. We are a family. Bentley is spending his 2nd week with his other daddy down south and he is loving every minute of it. He is easy to be with, has become like my shadow. He is great company and takes me out of the house on a regular basis to make sure I have my exercise 😉

We took Bentley to the Ardingly reservoir on Sunday just to change things up a little which was good fun. The weather was great so even better. Wouldn’t Bentley find the only bit of swamp there was and came out stinkin’ dirty (not to mention smelly!) We had to get him in the clean water before we could attempt bringing him home in the car. Such a boy he is! He is fearless.

I just love spending time with my 2 boys. Nathan and I had a lovely chilled weekend again with lots of love and cuddles and it’s magic. It’s so good for my morale while I am going through all this. It will be time to celebrate when it’s all over at the end of the month, not long to go now. My hair is growing back nicely, not fast enough mind you, but getting there. Can’t wait for the big reveal!

Just went to pick up the car from the garage as it was in to have that big repair which was originally going to cost me 950£. At the end of last week I was told as I was such a good customer they would raise my warranty level to 2.5K so meaning I would only have to pay 449£, well halleluiah! Better than a kick in the ass! Well, go figure when I got there today I am told there is nothing to pay as they fucked up on the surcharge. You have never seen anyone leave a garage so fast, run, in case they are talking bollocks! Happy days that’s all I can say. Time for some good things to happen.

Back in the gym early this morning and with my bestie Bernie. As always we set the world to right. It was chest day and it hurts 😦 It’s the climb back to where I was before, slowly but surely. As soon as this is all over I am going to get back to clean eating and shred! I want to go back to being the person I was before all this started on the 1st of December. Like fuck me none of my work suits fit me anymore and I need to get back to my regular work routine as soon as possible. It’s only a few kilos but my god it really changes everything.

Thanks for reading and following this journey of mine. It’s one hell of a ride and I can certainly say it wouldn’t have been like this if I didn’t have all the support I have. To all of you, much love and light.

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