Hey all, it’s been some time and feeling inspired to write again. Where does the time go, Christmas is almost upon us! Honestly I can’t wait to put this year behind me and I am praying for a much better 2018. It’s been an interesting year that’s all I can say.
‘Fuck Cancer’ being the main theme of 2017. And you know what? It can be done. The whole time I was aware that not everyone make’s it through. Recently I learned of an ex colleague of mine passing away during his second stem cell transplant. I knew there was a reason I was trying to avoid ‘that’ procedure at all costs. This shit is real. It’s an evil disease. The more you are aware of it, you realise just how many people are dealing with it, especially as we get older. We sometimes just don’t want to see it.
Nathan and I hosted my bestie Bernie’s “Fuck it, I’m 50 party” earlier this month and it was an amazing night. It was also Bonfire night so great merging of events! So many great people gathered together to celebrate this milestone birthday. Bernie and Tony (of course!), Denis, Jeremy, Frankie, Pascale, Alex, the Norms, Pammy and Keith, Honor, Denis’ brother Luc, sister in law Ginette and niece Anne-Claudine (all the way from Quebec), TFB, Tommy boy, D, Mick, Kayley and Sophia and a special guest Karen (all the way from Ottawa). Now that’s a party! No one else could pull off such an amazing fireworks display in our back garden than Terry “f’n Gujadhur! It was almost illegal it was so good. Some neighbours shouting more more and I am sure some were less impressed, oh well!
The theme for the night was chosen by Nathan and it was McBernie’s! Thanks to our talented Tommy (resident graphic designer) we had it all sorted, even the veg option for Frankie, referred to as McShite. Mr Pithers on the barbie and famous sausage rolls by Norma, amongst other yummy nibbles. Nathan actually took everyone by surprise with the huge cake he baked and decorated for Bernie. Crackin’ night I must say. It was the first real party we had hosted since I started treatment in March, so it meant a lot to gather everyone Bernie wanted to have together.
So what does it feel like to be in remission you may ask. Well I don’t really feel over joyous or anything if I am honest. You never know what is around the corner, so my outlook on life has been changed, forever. You can’t go back, only forward. I’ve decided not to spend time on small or negative things, especially petty issues at work. I just throw it right back. I don’t need anyone’s crap. I do my best at all times, it’s the only way I can function.
I am really touched by everyone saying how well I am looking. The thing is I don’t feel quite as good as everyone think’s I look. To me there is still the ‘climb’. I’ll get there just need to shake this feeling off. I look back and see how much work I need to put in to be happy with myself again. It’s frustrating when you can’t fit into most of your wardrobe at the moment lol. Yes I am back in the gym, but not with the confidence I used to have or the body haha! Small price to pay in reality. OK so I chose to eat my way through this….and luckily my wing man Nathan did too. Our love is so special and I am so fortunate he has stayed by my side the whole time. It’s exceptional I think. The worst of times, the best of times.
Well today there are 527 days until the big day so next year there will be plenty of wedding planning going on. This weekend we are going back to St Tewdrics to view our wedding venue in more detail and Nathan’s parents are coming along, and Bentley too!
Lots of events coming up before the holidays catching up with friends and co-workers. This year we will be in Cardiff for Christmas and back down south for NYE. I have a lot to be thankful for, expecially my friends and colleagues. I can’t tell you how much everyone’s love and support has meant throughout my journey.
Love and Light X