It’s that most wonderful time of the year again. It’s almost Christmas and I have done nothing at all in preparation for it. I am operating in slow motion. Oh yes I did put the tree up and send a few cards but I have not made any effort whatsoever to do any shopping, prepping etc. I guess I am just realising what is important in life, and I already have that; amazing friends and colleagues, an amazing fiancé and of course, last but not least – my health! I am grateful for soo many things this Christmas.
I feel like I have been full circle. What a difference a year can make.
Just over a year ago, December 1st precisely, I was diagnosed with cancer. I feel like a year has been stolen from me. I feel like I have been cheated out of what should have been such a amazing year, engaged in March to the man I love and planning a future together. Instead I spent most of it feeling like shit (sorry – no other way to describe it!) and hoping I didn’t push Nathan over the edge. Hey we all know life doesn’t always deal you the perfect hand. You just have ride it out. I have however learned a lot throughout my journey. When the shit hits the fan, you know who you can count on. Vodka, yes I owe it all to Smirnoff Apple voddie lol, what would I have done without you? Some things never change!
I haven’t been feeling amazing lately and decided to write to my doctors and just put it out there. Why am I still feeling aches and pains? Well apparently it has nothing to do with my cancer or treatment I am told. See you in Janauary as planned, as long as no lumps or bumps. So at least I can get some re-assurance that I am not going crazy or feel like I will never be the same again. I think I just need to be patient, not something I am very good at, says the Aries! I want to be 100% again and it’s frustrating.
Throughout all of this I think I may have under-estimated how this cancer of mine has affected Nathan. He has been and continues to be my rock. How could this not have pushed him to the limit? I’m not easy to be with at the best of times, never mind while dealing with a life threatening illness! OMFG! He deserves an award that’s for sure. You just know when you meet the one. Everything falls into place just perfectly. I never stop thinking about how lucky I am, to have come through the other side, and still have Nathan by my side. Many would have run a mile away.
December has been so busy with pre Christmas events, dinner at the Shard in London, a lovely gathering for my crew at work, a pop up kitchen event in London with my company President’s son as the chef – amazing and a visit from Mandie and Dominic from Oz and a trip to Winter Wonderland in London. I am tired and it’s not even Christmas yet, but plenty of time to rest from tomorrow as I am off from work until the 3rd of January, yes it will be 2018 when I get back to the grind. Most of you who know me, know that it’s never really OFF work, but at least away from the office for a nice break.
This year it will be Christmas in Cardiff and NYE down south. Nathan and I will be together for most of festive period (which is the most important thing of all!) and of course Bentley too! Bentley is currently down south with me, daddy 2 and I love having him here so much. He really is a special boy and gives me great bedtime cuddles when daddy 1 is away.
I would like to end this post with thank you’s to those of you who I would not have made it through this journey without. Not in any particular order so please bear with me.
Nathan – my one and only, for loving me the way I am, and for saying YES! ❤
Denis & Jeremy – my bestest friend of too many years to count, and husband Mr J. I can’t be me without you ❤
Karen– my bestie for over 30 years. You have aways been there no matter what. Will miss you this Christmas! ❤
Bernie – my bestie who keeps me on track with gossip and fitness, love ya! ❤
Ela – For being the very special loving and generous friend you are ❤
Pascale – Mary Poppins my favorite friend and loving neighbour, thank you so much for caring like you do ❤
Hans-Ru – For being my most amazing Swiss boy and loyal fan ❤
Tommy – My Tommy boy -now Island boy! You rock! Miss you ❤
Loraine and Rob – For being the most amazing loving friends throughout the years ❤
Pammy – For the love and for checking on me constantly and making sure I was ok ❤
Bella and Davey D – Bella Bella for loving and dragging me through week after week! Davey D for being da geezer ❤
Norma – For always being the amazing caring person you are, especially for bringing back the Donuts! ❤
Chrissypoo – For sharing your struggles and all the love ❤
Frankie – for just being you ❤
Gilly – for reading and checking up on me ❤
TFB – For lighting up my life is the most extraordinary way, BOOM! ❤
Mandie – For being my Ozzie buddy all the way, love ya! ❤
Leena – Thanks for being my other Ozzzie buddy and sending the positive vibes ❤
KJ – So sorry for your loss of your mum. Love you to bits ❤
Yvonne – For the love and being one of my precious mothers ❤
Kata – I wish you were my real mother ❤
Thora – The mother of all mothers, so thankful you came into my life ❤
Una – For sharing your own journey with me and always being so loving ❤
Debbie – For the support and being the best work wife a man could ask for ❤
Diane – For being just awesome at being my HR Manager and simply a great friend ❤
Claire B – Just for being you and that smile every day always makes my day ❤
Pascale B – For being my silent reader from afar ❤
Natalie Sequin – For sharing your own journey with me ❤
Dawn – For sharing your own unique journey and helpful tips with me ❤
Janice – My Spanish connection, thanks for reading me, miss you! ❤
Sue A – Thanks for the tears, being so supportive and encouraging (and continual improvement!) ❤
Marc– my old friend re-visited, thanks for coming back ❤
Kirsty – Without you I don’t know where I would have ended up ❤
My flying girls and boys – Thanks for all the love and support ❤
Followers and Readers – thanks for reading and all the likes, it means a lot ❤
Anyone else I have missed – please know that even if your name was not mentioned I know you have been there in some way for me, even the smallest way is appreciated ❤
So I will leave you with Nathan and I’s (and Bentley too!) Christmas card this year. Mainly electronic as that is the way to go these days 🙂
Merry Christmas and all the very best for the coming year ❤
Love and Light