Had to have a think about where to start this one and didn’t want it to be too dark!

1st round of my treatment is over and I was discharged and came home on Monday. I actually felt like Bambi when I got out of the cab and put the key in the front door. Literally my legs were shaking. When you are in the amazing care of the entire team at the hospital you don’t really have time to think or worry about anything as they have you all pumped up on steroids, and the rest of the happy stuff! 😅 Then Boom! Reality sets in real quick.

The HCA care team are actually an extraordinary bunch of people. You are assigned a specialist nurse who in my case is Sarah Kirkness, who is a gem! Along with some exceptional nurses who I feel need mentioning , Kalpert, Clint (aka Kelvin) and Agnes! They are there caring for you around the clock. I often think of how difficult their jobs must be, especially working with cancer patients. I do make an effort to keep everything lighthearted and do appreciate great customer service.

Can we talk?? Allow me to talk side effects and I must say I thought I was prepared for them, ok fairs this is completely different treatment to what I had previously. Didn’t bother to read the fine print either, note to myself lol! It feels like there is a war going on inside my own body. Feeling rough as fuck if I am honest. Cramps, nausea, stomach and chest pains the lot! Little do you realise that the main ingredient in one of the chemotherapy drugs called Cisplatin is Platinum! Yikes. Now imagine that is all I can actually taste currently. Metallic and acidic! I now also have a heightened sense of smell which is actually annoying as just because something smells good, it doesn’t help when you can’t taste anything. So imagine being hungry then gutted when you take your first bite of nothingness. Even water is not palatable at present. Thanks for the Cranberry and Pomegranite juice Miss P! Life saver!

Channeling happier times! Can’t wait to create new memories!

Just imagine I was so looking forward to having a cheeky apple voddie, my go to beverage for everyone who knows me! I was actually craving it when I was in the hospital. Have not been able to even take a sip. My version of dry January / February begins and that will be a first! Honestly I don’t think I could handle it in any case.

Had a chance to chat to Sarah yesterday as I just needed to know if what I was experiencing was normal or should I be worried. She just said your immune system has been hit so hard and it will take another 48 – 72 hours for the blood counts to come back. Tonight the DIY injections start for 6 days oh what joy! What I failed to realise is that I will be back in for round 2 on the 16th of Feb. OMG that’s in 2 weeks! No sooner will I start to feel better and we start all over again. Warrior mode is the only way forward.

Should have read the damn fine print!

Thanks to all of you for putting up with my moodiness and slow responses. So many lovely messages and I do try to get round to answering them. So many of you having offered to help and do stuff for me but I really don’t need anything and need to isolate this week at least. I am trying to stay sane while working as much as I can otherwise would go mad.

Missing my boys so much, so bring on the weekend!

Much love 🧡 xx


  1. There is not a minute in the day that I don’t think about you and wonder how you are getting on – You are such a Warrior and I know you will get through this, rough days and all. Keep writing this blog (when you feel up to it of course), and get it all out – be it dark or not. Sending you LOADS of LOVE, HUGE Angels and OODLES of STRENGTH your way from Down Under NZ! Thinking of you constantly my friend …. Love and hugs from KJ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Mark my heart is breaking for you and Nathan – this is all so, so unfair – but hey Ho, as we know life isn’t fair. You are one of the strongest people I know but even the strongest person in the world would struggle with all this. You were an absolute tower of strength to me in my journey and I will never forget your kindness when I thought there was no future. I am here for you if you need to rant , cry or even laugh and keep focussed as I am looking forward to visiting for a Cosmo night as soon as you are up to it – love you 😍

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