How many of you know what its like to have a partner who is not only amazing but an amazing hair stylist? Wow, I do, bonus right!Β  Sorry Ross! I did say I would never change hair stylists after all I had been going to Ross for over 16 years, I even followed him to Brighton when he set up there. I miss seeing him and must do something about that soon.

Just had the most amazing weekend with Nathan. I keep wondering why it feels like it gets better and better every time we get together. I am just so into this relationship, like I mean its the best thing that has ever happened to me. Tick all the boxes, yes Sir!

We went out to meet Cynthia in London on Saturday as she had not yet met ‘the one’. Had a great catch up and then out for some amazing Lebanese food on Edgeware Road. The Maroush Gardens Restaurant even has this captivating fish tank that runs under the floor…and right by our table. Cynthia was busy feeding them bread for ages and then Nathan jumped on the bandwagon and got busted! Please only feed them fish food he was told….which of course he did. Great time, great company and a lovely night.


We managed to get to the gym a couple of times over the weekend too, so I am well chuffed. Sunday was a lazy day and I think we stayed in bed till almost 1 pm. Nice sleepeze in and then I brought Nathan breakfast in bed. Just call me the bulter in the buff πŸ˜‰ Chilled day on the sofa watching tele and catching up on Halcyon the new drama on ITV – fucking brilliant. Then a roast dinner dutifully prepared for my boy with all the trimmings, couldn’t decide on roast turkey or fillet of beef, so I did both. We like to eat. Perfect weekend.

Back to work and the week begins and it looks like a busy one indeed. It will be a busy few days and one focused on recruitment. Interviews and creating bios and putting things together. Never a dull moment where I work, it’s like a dating agency and all about finding the right chemistry. Literally lol! Aside from a few other dramas nothing new.

Today is the day I get to meet Dr A in London at UCH. Bernie is my companion today and standing in for Mr Denis. πŸ™‚ Today is also the Welsh Valentines Day πŸ™‚ Missing the boy to make it all good again….only 2 sleeps to go.

Screen Shot 2017-01-25 at 08.23.30.jpg

Going to London is usually an adventure but today was nothing like that. This was to be some serious business. Met up with Bernie at Three Bridges station and we set off for Victoria together. I realised I had not seen her since Christmas and it was great to catch up on all the goss. Once we arrived at the station it was a bit early so we stopped in to Starbucks for aΒ  cuppa – no tea for me πŸ˜‰ – then we grabbed a cab for what turned into being such a long journey across the city arriving with 5 minutes to spare. Traffic was a mess and road works everywhere. I could not live in London, it’s way too chaotic!

Once we arrived I checked in on the 5th floor clearly marked private appointments only. Like this is like some VIP pass or something, well it’s not really. Building is posh and looks like they must do some great work here. MacMillan Cancer Center, Harley Street at UCH. Almost straight in and they want more blood, I should know the routine by now. Bernie says can I watch I say oh yeah no worries πŸ™‚

Take a seat and we will call you. A few minutes later a girl from reception asks if I am new patient here and of course I am. Please fill in the form and sign. All they really want is the private medical insurance number and authorisation code…just get to the point. Do I really need to start from scratch when I have filled in forms like this time and time again. It was actually a referral. OK time to chill, breath and relax.


The male nurse comes to get us, great guy, personable. Then we meet Dr A. To be honest I could tell just by the sight of him that this was not going to be like Dr Ivanov. Let’s get down to business. You have come for a 2nd opinion on your treatment plan correct? Yes of course that’s exactly why I am here.

Just to say I haven’t lost my sense of humour (or humility) and actually I thought (and Bernie thought) the doc was a camp as christmas and he used his hands so much it was distractive. We were the shown some statitistics (albeit not many cases as what I have is rare it seems) on survival rates with and without stem cell transplants. We just couldn’t help thinking he was probably married with a woman with kids and living a double life. I know I shouldn’t write this but honest to god I can’t contain myself.Β  The statistics are quite frankly depressing, and the doc, very clinical. Private care vs NHS, no brownie points for this dude.

The treatment recommended is chemo, chemo and more chemo followed closely by stem cell transplant and more intense chemo. It does however not give a guarantee of being cancer free, there is a small percentage of cases where it returns or a different type of cancer can appear.Β  The other option is 3 sessions of chemo and possibly 3 sessions of radiotherapy but this is not what they would suggest in the first instance. Will it come back on all cases, they can’t say for sure, or better known as “we don’t know” After our brief conversation we are then told well that’s all any other questions? We were being dismissed as we have all the answers to make an informed decision. Really?

Still no results from the bone marrow tests which is really frustrating, but however according to the doc, not likely to be anything there. Regardless treatment would be the same.

Bernie and I exchanged notes upon leaving the docs office and then decided it was cocktail time and caught the tube back to Victoria. We headed straight to the Reunion Bar in the Grosvenor Hotel at Victoria. We drowned our sorrows so to speak and demanded more bar snacks, as you do! After all drinks cost an arm and leg in here. Friends rock, they really do and I am really grateful. Thank God for Bernie and all my tribe!

A quick pitstop at McD’s (Healthy = NOT) and we are on the train back home where Tony is picking us up from the station. Bless him for meeting us and he driving me home. Time to have a FT chat with Nathan and get the blog updated. Nathan is so supportive I have to say I am really lucky. Not the most exciting of conversations in a new relationship.

A lot to think about and I am not convinced on what the best approach is but I will take my time. I need to consider all options and all repercussions. Tired now and thankfully it’s bed time. Thanks for reading and supporting me on this journey. And I want to say don’t worry I just take longer than other people to process information of this nature. There is so much to consider. It really is like being back in the hot seat.












  1. A BIG deep breath Mark πŸ™‚
    The answer will come to you with your wonderful instinct that you have and as Tink the Belle says, you will be guided…….. please trust us on that one πŸ™‚
    Keep up the blogging as that is such a great way to relief the stress and worry …. amazing what writing down does for your soul, well done you πŸ™‚
    Looking forward to the next update but in the meantime, take good care of yourself, enjoy being with your man Nathan and embrace all the love and support from all your friends (family!) from all around the world! We are ALL here for you!
    Don’t forget that I love you to the moon and back and YOU ROCK! don’t forget it!
    HUGE HUGS and LOADS OF LOVE from yours KJ xxxxxx
    p.s. need to FT again real soon!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey KJ just need to think things through and see what I feel is better for my quality of life. All this I don’t know stuff really doesn’t help with decision making to be honest! Don’t worry I am enjoying life still nothing is going to stop me from being who I am. I will find a way, somehow. Love you too and thank you for all the support. XXXX Mark


  2. My dearest Markypoo. Have just read yr latest blog and gutted no other route to treat your condition. You are in my prayers and feel confident the next step will come to you. Much love. Chrissypoo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lots for you to think about Mark !!! your sense of humour through this never ceases to amaze me. Thinking about you and still saying prayers πŸ™πŸ» love from us both xxx 😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s