I am surrounded by people I love and wouldn’t have it any other way. My Australian gang, Mandie and Leena and my Kiwi based chick, KJ. Love you all. Thanks for the positive vibes.

Wow what a day, didn’t think I would be inspired to write today, but hey. A few vodkas in and I’m on it!

The day started at the gym with Bernie and Honor for a heavy workout, god did I need it. I am sure I will pay for it later. Honor was a trooper and got stuck in. She then announces she is getting married to Simon in January. What amazing news. I am so happy for the both of them. Even though we have never met this Simon lol.

Pretty routine day at work really, no dramas just catching up on everything and with Claire, Diane and Debbie mostly.  Got a phone call from Jean who bless her has been through something similar herself and knew exactly what I was feeling and not feeling so to speak. The only thing is I don’t feel is angry, maybe that comes later? Why me or Why not me. Jean is such a wonderful and loving lady, so glad she is a part of my life.

Had a chance to meet with Diane and catch up on everthing and she was so amazing at re-assuring me that I didn’t need to worry about anything. I thought thats amazing but why do I worry about everything?  You see the company is amazing and I truly feel like I have all the support and that is so important at a time like this. It’s a shame not everyone appreciates that they do more than is required, way more.

Debbie (my work wife) and I sat down to have a natter and in our coversation she mentioned she told her son Joshua that I was ill and would need treatment. Bless him he asked if he could help with the cost of it. Bless, don’t under estimate the love of friends, even their kids FFS. She gave me a Xmas card and another card which I didn’t open until I came home and it just set me off crying. Such lovely and touching words, it just isn’t the same opening cards at the moment. The smallest thing just gets me teary eyed.

My friend Gazza from Brighton asked me how much the treatments I wrote about in Germany would cost if I went down that route. He wanted to help out. Friends are really awesome.

Had a chat with with Elaine who works on one of our aircraft and she is just so caring and warm and is actually going through her own dramas currently. People are wonderful in tough times, they are so unselfish. Another email exchange with one of my girls Simona and even if you are not that close to them they want to be there for you. People rock!

Had to drop the car off this morning and of course it cost another £200 like haven’t I already spent £600+ in the last month, a speeding ticket arrives for £100. When will this stroke of bad luck end? Please tell me! How much can one take!

Ok the highlight of the day is I now I have my appointment for the PET (Positron emission tomography) scan on Tuesday the 13th at 12pm at the Royal Marsden. Gosh the brochure is like a book, get ready for fun and games. Stay tuned for the results, I know I am so anxious to know more, like where are we with this C.A.N.C.E.R???

Nathan messages me to say he has made an executive decision and I wondered about what…he is coming to me for Christmas. We were originally spending Christmas Day at his and Boxing day at his folks. So plans change and I am just grateful for spending as much time together as possible, roll on tomorrow when I head off to Cardiff tomorrow evening. I need to get away to where I feel safe. Nothing can ever replace that feeling of being close to the one you love. Loads of cuddles on the menu.

Karen checks on me every day and is soo looking forward to coming over on the 22nd. Can’t wait to see her too! Maria my old dear friend from Montreal was in touch today as well, love her and funny how the distance doesn’t change anything at all.

Bernie just amazes me and asked me if it was ok to go to NYC for a few days next week?? Go girl I wish it was me! I am humbled.

I need to mention how strong Denis is during this time, not saying too much but simply knowing how to deal with my ever changing mood. I’m FREE by Faith Hill is on the playlist big time these days!

When I got home Tommy had been doing some DIY in the hallway and I have a lovely new light fixture up. I love it! Thanks Tommy! He then decorated the Christmas tree for me as I find it difficult to be motivated by these things currently. Another first tonight, Dominoes delivers so we pigged out on pizza, garlic bread, wedges and cookies. Most of you who know me, know this is not me at all. WTF why not. I feel like a piggy tonight. Back to Pro-Gains tomorrow, god help me!


  1. Dearest Darling Mark – you show such strength in the words you write in your blog, therefore, I know you will have the strength in your heart, mind, soul and body to fight this beast. When you feel weak, you can be assured that the love and support of those that love and care for you, will make you strong again. You are right to enjoy your Christmas with Nathan and your close friends and it is clearly evident from your blog that there will be many hands willing to hold yours when you take the next steps on your journey – including mine.

    Sending you my love and a huge hug as always. Xxxx ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dude! You Rock! AND don´t forget it!
    Thinking of you today as i am every moment of the day, evening, night and yes, even morning…..
    What an amazing guy our Nathan is! I SO cannot wait to meet him and I am just so, so happy that he is there for you … and all your other buddies in the world! As I said, You Rock!
    I love you, and I am with you through every step of this journey!
    Love and hugs from ´down under´……KJ xxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. KJ how I miss the days we spent together laughing and crying and shopping….yes we shopped! Remember the Jeep, filled to the fucking brim! Love always and your support means everything. XXX Mark


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