Another week gone by and after a lovely weekend in Cardiff with Nathan I am back home and feeling completely fucked up, both physically and mentally. Oh this Cancer is a such a bastard. It takes you on a rollercoaster ride and I have never really been a fan of them lol. Have you ever been in a place where you don’t even want to leave the house or be seen in public? That’s me currently. I have lost all my self-confidence. The mirror is not my friend right now. Who am I? Where have you put Mark? Sorry Nathan I have been such an asshole. It’s stronger than me.

Had a lovely day walking on the beach Sunday at Monknash with my boys and it was actually breathtaking. So many nice places to see in Wales, we have only just begun. Bentley had a grand time, he loves being free and running around and getting wet haha! I was feeling ok but not as good as I would have liked to. So many side effects I won’t even go into detail, it’s boring. I just want to be able to live as normal a life during this time. I long for feeling like the old me again. I want to be feel excited about planning things again. I am in a hurry I know! We also have a wedding to plan and that’s something exciting to look forward to.

After our walk we headed to The Captain’s Wife in Sully, our fave place for a Sunday Roast. We managed to get a table outside so we could have Bentley with us. We are always on the look out for dog friendly places 🙂 The meal was perfect as always and it really is the best we have found so far. And I know Bentley loves it too 😉 (he may have had a few rosties and some beef shhhh) This place holds some great memories for us as well. Still remember the first time we went in November and sat outside and it was like 19 degrees and sunny.

I had Bentley with me all of last week which was great fun and he made sure I was out walking and keeping active. Had a lovely dinner on the terrace with Pascale Wednesday evening and it was really so warm. It was to be the last day of the heatwave, boo!

On Thursday I had the pleasure of a visit from the lovely Emma Smith from Flicker Productions. What a great character and so full of life and I am fortunate to have met her. This is one of those rare instant connections. I am not sure I would have agreed to all this filming if it weren’t for her. She needed to download the content from the Go Pro that Nathan and I have been recording. It was the first time I had watched it back on a Mac and it did make me laugh. Sometimes when you look at yourself and you cringe but it was actually quite entertaining in a bizarre way. It’s real life. This is my story. Not unique in that respect, but still a story. Nathan apparently you are a great cameraman too!

Couldn’t face the gym yesterday and it literally took me hours to get out of bed and psyche myself to get ready for work. I thought to myself if I don’t go today I won’t be able to again. So I fought the traffic all the way, it was madness. When I got to our buidling I took a deep breath and said to myself you can do this. And the day began and I made it through! Scotty was also in so that made for some good laughs. It was rather on the quiet side for a Tuesday. Lovely visits from Charli, Jess, Jen, Claire, Tarnia and Ms T.  Denis is back from holidays and I have missed him being around. Work are great and I am so lucky to work for an employer who supports their staff at times like this.

Later in the afternoon it all started, after an email to my consultant’s PA, I am booked for my PET/CT scan Thursday at 1300 at the Platinum Medical Centre and then seeing Dr Marcus for results on Monday 3rd July at 1420. So then to coordinate with Emma for her and Felipe to be there for these events, as they want to do some further filming. So then I will hopefully know what next?! Now I am getting anxious. Please please no stem cell transplant. Radiotherapy is most welcome lol! I’d opt out for both but if I got to choose! 😉

Had great FT catch up with Karen on the weekend. I have never seen anyone so excited about our wedding plans. She is now following Nathan on Pinterest. Nathan is already working on the flower arrangements. Yes he is growing things and it will be like magic as he is so creative.

Nathan and Bentley are down here on Friday evening so we will no doubt have a chilled one, weather does not look promising but who knows. The Pithers Parlour will be open on Saturday morning and we have Davey D booked in 🙂

I think it’s time to get back to the gym with Bernie this afternoon and see what we can manage. I am hoping she will be able to count the reps today haha! Also hoping to get to 0630 Body Attack in the morning with Pammy and Norma. Let’s just see how I feel but at least try. Every day brings new surprises, and not good ones of late! But I am sure of one thing, the best is yet to come. Love and Light X